Thursday, September 9, 2010
THURSDAY---Another Edition of.......
A flip o f the fedora to Jimmy Cannon
NOBODY ASKED ME BUT......
1) The days are really dwindling down as September Song says. Darkness engulfs us earlier each day as always and brightness, hopefully, colors our persona around the clock.
2) The U S Open has given me pause for much thought about talent, values, and much more which I will relegate to a longer piece for the next day or so.
3) Have you ever wondered why surly clerks in chain drugstores blame the customer for surliness after they have insulted said customer?
True exchange—(Clerk)---use the cash register over there. (Me) OK (Clerk) What is your phone number? (Me) I am just buying a $2 greeting card for cash---you do not need a phone number. (Clerk) Yes it’s my job to ask---(Me) OK you asked now let me pay you. (Clerk) You know there are always nasty customers like you. (Me) That is because there are annoying clerks like you---and if you want a battle of wits I will check my brains at the door so we can start even. (Clerk) Try to have a nice day. (Me) I was until I met you.
4) People who limit themselves to listening to one sided commentaries disguised as newscasts are guaranteed to not know much about the longer history of any given issue or have an understanding of it. The Civil Rights movement made progress when it finally overcame the “know nothing” bigots---and the beat goes on today with issues like the Mosque controversy.
5) The Mosque people need a good PR person from Mad Men to come forward with a name change---and not the reasons for its name “Cordoba House” (which has ecumenical historic significance) perhaps something like the ICC (Islamic Community Ctr—think
JCC) or The Lower Manhattan I.
6) Why do the Iraqis get everything wrong? Candid Camera was about funny foibles and “punked” people (new term I guess) with everyday situations. They have a reality show that terrorizes people and when they are hysterical they tell them ---“It’s a joke”. Well, maybe that is the everyday situation there and I have it all wrong and that is humor in a strange and different culture.
7) I love the “Guy (or gal) walks into a bar” jokes. If you have any please do share them here---here is one I truly appreciate--- A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of bourbon---downs them really fast. The barkeep asks why the rush---hell, says the customer if you have what I have you would do the same---what is that, says barkeep,------50 Cents. My thanks to Manny Dias from a posting to a Danny Quinn request. Let us also never forget the memorable Rabbi who walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and when the barkeep asks where did you get him(?) the parrot replies---there are a lot of them in Brooklyn.
8) The crackpot minister of a miniscule congregation got worldwide notoriety for his Q’uran Book Burning thanks to the press. Some 50 odd (in more ways than one) people belong to his sect so you have to wonder if anyone would have even taken note of this were it not for press coverage. Anything for circulation/ratings/etc;
9) Seems that Harry Chapin had it right in the opening song of his Cotton Patch Gospel--:...something strange is happening in
”.(OK his Gainesville was in Gainesville ) Georgia
10) Playing tennis in NYC is all well and good provided you have the time and inclination to buy a permit, make a reservation (with a partner) in advance, or pay extra and be wait listed for cancellations----something to be said for suburban living and free (tax supported) tennis courts for the public in parks and schools. With or without a partner. I know---it does not have the cache of The Big Apple---along with The Big Fees.